Singapore Needs You! -Open Appeal to World Leaders-

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From: Singapore Inc,
Department of Minister Acquisition,
Istana, Orchard Rd, Singapore 238823

To: Leaders of the Free World

RE: Singapore seeks new Prime Minister

Dear Sir,

Singapore Inc. was formed in the aftermath of the latest spate of ministerial salary increment. Disgruntled Singaporeans, tired of being powerless, got together and the first Annual General Meeting of Singapore Inc. was convened to discuss the various problems plaguing our nation.

Faced with a soaring CPI, our elite team of ministers, who are incidentally the highest paid group of politicians in the world, offered this advice to citizens affected by the slew of price hikes: switch to cheaper products.

We at Singapore Inc., were so impressed with their creativity that we took the advice to heart. Not only that, as responsible citizens, we have voted to carry this advice further and to its logical conclusion: switch to cheaper politicians.

We did our sums and arrived at the conclusion that if we were to replace the current Prime Minister and his cabinet with cheaper but more talented foreign imports, we would save millions for the Treasury in the short term and billions in the long run. Therefore, we at Singapore Inc. appeal to world leaders in both the political and commercial arenas to apply for the post of Prime Minister of Singapore.

Ideally, the incoming Prime Minister should be willing to work long hours for very little money.

Should you accept the post of Prime Minister, we are pleased to offer you the following terms:

- An annual salary of US$800,000 dollars. It may be much lesser than the US$2.05 million paid to our current Prime Minister, but why do you think we are seeking a replacement in the first place? US$800,000 dollars is twice the amount the American president is earning, and not to be sneezed at.

-The position of Prime Minister of Singapore is hereditary, and you can even exercise the option of choosing your successor from either your own family members or close associates.

-Guaranteed return to power at every 'General Election' for the Prime Minister and his party.

-Stock options and a seat on the board of directors in the GIC. The GIC is a Sovereign Wealth Fund established to manage Singapore's foreign reserves which amounts to more than US$100 billion. Unfortunately, we are unable to give you an exact figure at the moment. Please have fun finding out when you become Prime Minister.

-The spouse of the Prime Minister will be offered the post of CEO of Temasek Holdings, the executive arm of the GIC. It currently manages a portfolio of more than *US$100 billion. (*Exact figure unknown)

-A compliant judiciary to offer flexible interpretations of the Constitution and Legislations to suit your every need, such as when you need to sue pesky opposition politicians for defamation.

-Health, dental, life and disability insurance.

Duties and Responsibilities:

-Upon assuming office, the Prime Minister will form the new government. We at Singapore Inc. advise a complete overhaul of the Cabinet. Currently, a Singapore minister earn an annual salary of US$1.32 million. We advise appointing ministers who will be happy with US$360,200. That is much lower than the current pay scale for a Singapore minister but twice the amount a US Cabinet Secretary is earning. With 15 Cabinet ministers (excluding the Senior Minister and Minister Mentor), this exercise to curb the excesses of the cabinet will save the Treasury US$14.4 million a year.

-We at Singapore Inc. advise that the posts of Senior Minister and Minister Mentor are redundant and a waste of taxpayers' money. No other Prime Minister in the world needs to be advised by a Senior Minister and mentored by a Minister Mentor at the same time. Doing away with these redundancies will save the Treasury another US$4 million a year.

-Traditionally, Singapore has a President who is the ceremonial head of State. However, after Ong Teng Cheong's term of office, what little executive power the post of President conferred has been further curtailed. We at Singapore Inc. therefore consider the current salary for the President at US$2.6 million to be an excess and an unnecessary burden on taxpayers. We advise keeping the ceremonial post of President but reducing his salary to US$315,000 which is on par with what the President of Germany is getting.

-If our advice is taken and implemented, that will save the Treasury approximately US$22 million a year. And you will be popular with the people.

We look forward to you joining us.

Singapore Inc.
(For the people. By the people)

*Amendments made to letter:

-Annual salary for US President should be US$400,000. Twice that amount should be US$800,000.

-A Cabinet Secretary is earning US$180,100 per annum at the moment. Twice that amount should be US$360,200.

-Therefore, if our advice is taken and implemented, that will save the Treasury approximately US$22 million a year.

PS: Don't think we are not kicking ourselves over the mistakes, but as that gives us a good excuse to send out the appeal one more time, we are not kicking ourselves too hard.